A non discussed topic
I don’t know where to start. Umm let’s begin from the beginning. I masturbated for the first time in February 2017. I was intimated by the idea of it though. I had my social studies exam the next day I don’t know what led me to do that I had watched porn once 2 years prior just to know what it was, had no man crush either, it was the anxiousness probably. It was quite weird, but good. Btw a fun fact I did it in front of the mandir!
I barely ever did that again probably didn’t at all, until my friend made me see fifty shades darker. We couldn’t finish watching it. I knew about the movies and the books but never really saw or read them. I didn’t have the access to them. It was quite naive of me should’ve just opened an incognito tab. Well now that I saw half of it, it intrigued me like anything I came home and thought about it alot. I was finally able to muster up the courage to watch it completely. God Christian Grey is one hot fucking gentleman. I was so wet that I decided to watch the 1st part of it too. I felt my muscles contracting, my thighs clenched together as tight as possible. He, made me do that again.
I never indulged in masturbating unless I saw the fifty shades movies, which, was very rare. Then in February 2018 there came the 3rd part of my favourite. I watched it twice because once just didn’t seem to be enough. It was my 12th boards that year so I tried and indulged in some better activities rather than the movies and the pleasuring.
Didn’t masturbate for 9-10 months straight. But in February 2019 when I was at the peak of my anxiousness, and it was probably the most important month of my whole school life I decided to give free rein to Mr. Grey. I watched all the 3 parts again. Quite self destructing though. I started to watch porn, and looking out for some toys on the internet (couldn’t buy them due to obvious reasons but I could imagine myself using them in the future). Masturbating became like a daily chore now. I did it straight for 4 days, I thought I used to orgasm and that it was quite overrated.
How wrong I was.
The next day as usual I did my thing and was about to sleep but something, something just made my hands go into my pyjamas again. I had an early morning the next day but that couldn’t stop me. I masturbated again. This time it was different. The energy was different. The vibe of it was different. My whole body was quivering for 15 seconds straight, the pace was high, I couldn’t feel anything but extreme pleasure. I cared about nothing but just thrusting and thumping my finger hard against the wall of my vagina. Though the lights were off it still felt like everything just blacked out in front of my eyes, my breath was taken away, I was panting like anything, wanted to reach out for some oxygen by removing the sheets off my face but didn’t want to move my hands away from my body either. It was surreal. I felt ecstatic. I felt terribly excited. All at once.
One thing I learnt was that orgasm-ing is not overrated and also I don’t know if there’ll be anything or anyone who could top that. Secondly I realised the month of February is quite lucky for me isn’t it? Wondering what February 2020 will have in store for mee!
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